Monday, May 19, 2014

I'm sick, here are somethings I do in times like these.

I put the fan on last night, knowing what it would do to me. Now, I have a slight temperature, sore throat, puffy eyes and a lack of appetite to die for.
Here are some things that I do when I have a flu that you may also indulge in:

1. Wrap yourself up in your blanket to become a burrito of despair. This helps you to keep warm whilst simultaneously hiding the hideous snot-ridden face you now occupy.
2. Drink green tea until you turn green. Add honey to soothe your throat too.
3.Use this opportunity to audition for your own TV drama called, "I Wish I Still Lived With My Mum", staring you, daydreaming about your mum bringing you soup and rubbing your back with vapour rub.
4. Microwave some canned soup and fall asleep before you could eat it.
5. Appease your headache by thinking about walking over to get that Paracetamol, but be too lazy to get up and go for it in fear of making your headache worse.
6.Cough until you are sure that you are bringing up chunks of lung.
7. Permanently look as if you're high on weed; red eyes, glazed eyes and a facial expression of confusion is in vogue, Baby.
8.Get your entire daily food allowance from throat drops. Taste that suspiciously tasting "Cherry".
9. If you go outside, make sure you wear a hat, scarf, sunglasses, jacket, the whole shebang. You need to look as shady as possible.
10. Accept the fact that you're hot. I mean, you're temperature  is 37.8 degrees celsius and you have that dewy, shiny, Miranda Kerr-like luminescence about you.

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